Well another year, another graduating from college[1]. You may recall Joshua finished up last year and it’s Elijah’s turn this year with Mara to follow next year.

Elijah has enjoyed a lot of subjects these past two years, taking particular interest in CADD (Computer Aided Drawing and Design) for which he received a course award. The college also offered a range of activities — participating in rugby, snowboarding, snorkelling and mountain biking — which, if you know Elijah, he lives for.

Elijah pauses with his grandparents on the way to the graduation ceremony.

He’s been very fortunate to have been offered some well-paid work for the next little while, starting a couple of weeks ago. We are waiting to hear on university course offers but, at this stage, his plan is to work for a while, saving money to finance participating in missionary work for our church. Though I expect university is in his future — as noted above, he has a strong interest in design and technology — he’ll likely address that a bit further down the track. For now, we’re glad to see him finish with good grades and an open road before him.

[1] See here for an explanation of Canberran terminology.

Three days late but Mara’s sixteenth birthday family celebration — dinner and the cake — finally took place. We squeezed in the presents before school on the day but we were in three different locations come that evening — Canberra (Josh and Mara), Sydney (Gaynor, I, Elijah, Micah and Bryna) and Perth (Ariana). The next day wasn’t much better in terms of familial localisation but she did have some good friends who took her for a surprise party/dinner after a long day of dancing. Ariana returned the following evening and so the night after that finally saw the family dinner. We’re glad to all be back together and, of course, to have Miss Mara as a part of our rapidly ageing family. 🙂

Taking out the candles one by one is a family tradition and Mara does it with aplomb.

P.S. For those keeping score at home, Ariana’s team had won the ACT round and were competing in the National final in Perth for Tournament of the Minds. They didn’t win — they were in the Language/Literature (Secondary Schools) category — but they did receive the Integrity award and she had a lot of fun!

It’s been a busy year for Micah, increasing in age by 33%. Keeping up with older siblings does have it’s challenges and being a generally happy, energetic and caring boy he doesn’t seem to mind his position in the food chain. I’m not saying what that position necessarily is, considering how many people he has around to play, wrestle, run, read and cuddle with.

He didn’t have a long wish list but he did have one. It included a Spiderman costume — as seen below — and some stuff for play-dough for presents and roast chicken, corn and pappadams for dinner.

Wearing his first present, Micah anticipates another.

Currently going through a fussy-ish phase in his diet, Gaynor was happy to indulge him in his gastronomic choice. We had some new friends around to help celebrate — their two oldest and Micah get on like a house on fire (which they have not yet literally attempted).

The now traditional photo with the birthday cake — note the ‘4’ on the cake. We’re not sure what Gaynor is pointing out but she is really trying to catch the eye of the photographer, again 🙂

A great time and we’re now looking forward to another year of his lovely brand of living.

While it’s no surprise to us how talented all our children are, it’s great to see some of the rest of the planet give them a little recognition. Bryna took up ballet while we were still in California and has continued to dance, along with Mara, since we got back. Her primary school (elementary/grundschule) recently ran a competition using the now seemingly ubiquitous ” … Got Talent” and she did well enough in the heats — run on a weeknight at the school — to be invited back to the finals that were held at the school fête a few weeks later. And she won! She performed a self-choreographed dance routine to the first few minutes of Ben Fold’s Still Fightin’ It. There were even prizes — well done Bryna. 🙂

Recently, I had the opportunity to listen to Celia Lashlie give a public lecture at ANU entitled The World of Boys and Men. Though I have lived in this world for a while, I thought it would be useful to get an outsider’s point-of-view, to be reminded of how my own boys sometimes see things and pick up any insights she might have gained. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to give a full account of the talk and so, instead, for those interested in helping to raise successful men, I offer below an unedited copy of my own notes taken.

• ‘I get annoyed when …’ puts it on yourself rather than ‘You should …’ which puts it on him.
• Boys tend to ignore women’s voices because they have heard many negative comments throughout their lives since there were small — often from others who do not need to pass judgements — that they aren’t okay being who they are. a-la 2 year old misbeaving in public.
• Once they are 12 — 13 they turn off until ~24.
• Note:
  • women think and talk at the same time, thinking out loud
  • men think and then talk — note the gap — and women prefer to fill the gap.
• Often the thinking on the part of men in response to an ‘uh oh’ question[1] is to pick the words that get him out of trouble.[2]
• Women consider externally and men consider internally. Wait for them to consider! In both cases!
• Boys make 30 second decisions.
• Men have intuition — just use it differently.
• Take in information from 2 years old -> 12 — 13 and then process.
• 12 — 13 slow down; the laziness is wanting to slow the world down and is aware of the end of adolescence, the world is changing.
• Slow down means getting through with “Don’t know” or “No” and will wait for a woman to answer her own question.
• Boys know through observation how things are. Example!
• Relationships — the essence of life — will keep boys safe.
• In communicating, learn to wait for answers, don’t fill the gap nor provide answers or options. Let them think and talk and don’t let them off the hook by doing those earlier things. Look directly at them.
• They already know right from wrong so need to prod their intuition — simply need to remind them without your own emotional insecurities.
• Parents (mothers?) have checklist of things to talk about during adolescence and avoid segueing to it.
• Ask them by stating own views and giving them time to think abou it and then being prepared for their answers.
• Nothing if not pragmatic!
• Pragmatism drives many actions and communications
• They must experience consequences to learn.
• Set the line and let him find it.
• Link action and consequences — his pragmatic nature will drive the results.

[1] She explained that an ‘uh oh’ question is typically one of deeper significance that usually has the man mentally responding with an ‘uh oh’.

[2] It reminded me of one of my favourite illustrative stories, The Difference Between Men and Women.

Hey, this is Mara. Dad told me to write a blog to update all people on my dancing. First of all, for those of you who don’t already know, I got my first pair of pointe shoes in February. Secondly, I was at the highest level at my ballet school in California. Also, that a month ago I was cast in BRAVA’s Nutcracker.

Pointe shoes are a pretty simple concept. They are ballet shoes designed so you can stand, literally, on your toes. Or, in other words, alot of pain. When you first start dancing on pointe, all you really do is go up, and come down. As you advance the more complicated the steps on pointe become. After about four months in the beginning class, I moved to the next one. And a couple of months after that, I moved on to the last level. The ultimate goal of pointe work is to be able to do 32 fuete turns en pointe. (If you don’t know what those are, google it.)

My ballet school had six levels, six being the most advanced. I started in level three and after two years, I was in level six. Mind, you that moving that quickly isn’t very common. I spent the first six months in level three, relearning the basics. After that, I was in level four for about four months. Level five is where a lot of dancers at the studio stay, or they quit. After only four months in that class, I was promoted to level 5/6. This meant that I took both classes for five and classes for six. After about four months I dropped level five, and I was on top of the world. That is where I left off.

Nutcracker is a famous ballet with music composed by Tchaikovsky. 2010 was the second year I was in it, however, it was with a new company. And by new, I mean new. New costumes, dancers, stage, choreography, and director. I was cast as a Courtier Lady and as part of the corpse de ballet for Waltz of the Flowers. In the end I had very sore feet and I was very tired. I had a total of (I think) ten people come to see me dance. It all worked out great and I got to wear an amazing costume.

All in all, my dancing experience in California has been great. I would like to thanks my parents for all the time and effort they put in to get me there, back, and fed. And I would like for all of you to have the opportunity to see me dance, sometime.

Love Mara